It is September 2000, and if you aren’t currently trying to beat your mate’s high score on Snake II, you’ve clearly missed the cultural memo of the millennium. The Nokia 3310 has arrived to replace the already legendary 3210, and while it looks like a slightly smoother, more rounded version of its predecessor, it is actually a masterpiece of indestructible consumer engineering. At £129 on a pay-as-you-go deal from Carphone Warehouse, it is the phone that every teenager in Britain is currently begging their parents for. It’s got that signature internal antenna, but this time Nokia has added a bit of weight back in, bringing it to 133g, which makes it feel like you could throw it at a brick wall and the wall would be the one needing a repair.
The technical leap here isn’t about the screen or the processor, but the sheer breadth of the software. You’ve now got four games, including the upgraded Snake II which lets you crawl through walls, and Space Impact, which is basically a pocket-sized arcade experience. For the socially obsessed, the new “Chat” function allows for SMS conversations that feel more like AOL Instant Messenger, and with a 459-character limit across multiple messages, you can finally send more than a single sentence without the phone cutting you off. The battery life from the 900 mAh NiMH pack is equally biblical, offering up to 260 hours of standby, which is roughly how long the queue is currently at the local cinema for Gladiator.
But the real magic lies in the customisation. The Xpress-on covers are back with a vengeance, and you can now change both the front and the back, meaning you can turn your 3310 into anything from a neon yellow eyesore to a faux-leather executive statement. Combine that with the ability to compose your own ringtones or download a monophonic version of the EastEnders theme, and you have the most personal device ever made. It is reliable, it is iconic, and it is built to survive everything from a drop down the stairs to a spill at the pub. In a world of fragile tech, the 3310 is a tank dressed in a shell suit, and it is utterly brilliant.